Waiting for the End. Part Two--Triathlon Desperation

A 3-part series of blog posts about my journey from marathon mayhem, to triathlon desperation, to reaching a point of satisfied surrender.

Part Two: Triathlon Desperation.

So in a little over six years, I had run 10 marathons. And I'm thinking most likely, it would have been 12, but I wanted baby Bridget, and then there was the lovely explosion of the L4/L5 jelly doughnut. (See "Part One: Marathon Mayhem" if you didn't read it.) Also in those six years, there were some 5Ks, a 10K, five half marathons, two 25Ks, a triathlon relay, and a 200-mile relay race. This isn't that many events in a six-year period compared to a lot of runners, but for me, particularly after my back injury, it was starting to feel like enough. I had lost the intensity. Where was the me that started a 20-mile run at 4:30 am so I could be done in time to make it to the 10:00 Texans game downtown with my family? (Just one time.) Where was the me that ran 9 miles up and down Allen Parkway before the Houston Half Marathon (the warmup series one) because that's how I wanted to do my final 22-mile training run before the San Antonio Marathon? That me was so gone.

Could I get the passion back? Did I even want to? Did I even need to? I still felt some magic when I ran with all of my favorite running friends: Chester, Maynard, Brandon, Kanye, Eminem, Justin (yes, I admit Justin), and so on...(See "What's My Playlist for Pounding the Pavement"). Those runs still got me high. But not training. Not races.

What about an ironman? I've never even done a sprint triathlon before, but.........what about an ironman? Would that get me going again? (Going where? Was I going somewhere?)

My friend Sharon knew I had lost my mojo to race. And I knew that she had mentioned a time or two about wanting someday maybe to do an IM. So I called her. This was spring last year. We quickly learned that all of the official IMs coming up were filled. Didn't know they filled up quick like that. But this was an emergency; I needed to do an ironman. Races and I were on the rocks, and we needed something drastic to keep us together. And then the announcement: a new ironman next May--in The Woodlands, TX--right smack dab where we live. Sharon and I hastily signed up for Ironman Texas. Sharon's triathlon experience: a sprint, with a sprinkle of swimming and cycling training history. Mine: the swimmer one time in a quarter iron relay, with zero swimming and cycling history (didn't even own a road bike).

My husband Chad was so excited that I decided to do this. The last six years of running weren't nearly enough. He was thrilled at the idea of me not just running, but now also swimming and cycling. And he was really looking forward to me talking about this for the next year. And he was chomping at the bit to watch our girls Parker and Bridget more often while I was out doing ironman stuff. And the thing he looked forward to the most: how much money I would spend to prepare for this ironman.

As for that last part--the money--my friend Alana really saved the day. Alana is amazing. She's one of those ladies who's both a natural athlete and a persevering spirit--powerful combo, like a honey badger! She had plans to do an ironman herself, but that idea slipped away due to running injuries and such. I stewed a little about it, but I got the nerve to ask her if I could possibly borrow and/or buy any of her gear. She was so great; she let me borrow her bike, trainer, wetsuit, bike clothes, a swimsuit, books, etc... I owe her big time, and I will be getting all of these items back to her in the near future. Thank you again, Alana. I really appreciate it. And Chad does, too!

Alright. Let's prepare for this ironman. Let's start triathloning...

Lonestar Olympic distance, Galveston, Apr. '10: a couple of months before my last marathon--San Diego, a year after my back surgery. (See Part One if you need.) I did a few swims and three bike rides to prepare for this. What the hell? Not off to a very good start with Project Get Mojo Back. Oh, it'll be fine. I've been running, getting ready for the San Diego marathon. And I've done the Lonestar swim before. (Remember? Swimmer in a relay.) I can wing this. Here's a cut-and-paste of my account of this race from the post "Phewy, Buoys!":

"After this weekend, I was supposed to finally be able to say that I've done a triathlon. I've always turned my nose up at them, quickly concluding that I'm only interested in marathons. Well, that interest has been a struggle for me lately, and my solution was to shake things up and try out a tri. Unfortunately, though, Mother Nature wasn't cooperating; it was a windy morning--too windy for the buoys which wouldn't stay in position, so the swim was cancelled. So instead, I can now say I've done a duathlon. Disappointing, for sure, but it's just as well, because whoa--I was not prepared. I had only gone on three bike rides, with just one of them being a brick. Whatever! So silly. But I felt great on the 24.8 mile ride. It was fun. But the moment I stopped the bike to dismount, that confidence and fun evaporated. Major leg cramps--my calves, my thighs, even my groin. What the hell? And my 10K run felt like the last 6.2 miles of the marathon. I was running cradling a medicine ball. I definitely PR'd for walk breaks in a 10K. I knew going into this that it was going to be humbling for me, but geez--did it have to be so much so when I didn't even swim? A humble pie smashed in my face!" Time: 2:16--1:18:04 bike, 55:04 run (8:51 pace--lugging a giant medicine ball). Picture: I usually do a good job of sparing Chad and the girls from the hassle of being spectators at all of these events (except mile 18-ish at the Houston marathon because it's close to my mom's and easy to do), but this was a weekend without the girls, a getaway to my mom and stepfather's beach house in Galveston. So Chad came to see me finish up this race, with the camera.

San Diego Marathon, June '10: Okay, so my 10th marathon technically occurred after the ironman idea, but I was obviously already signed up and in the midst of training for it before I thought about an ironman. San Diego was my original attempt at getting my mojo back after my back surgery. 3:49. Discussed in Part One.

Austin Avia Olympic Tri, Sept. '10: I kept up my running,but I did zero swimming or cycling to prepare for this one.Time: 3:07:40--38:33 swim--my mean sidestroke, 1:27:35 bike (17 mph), 53:43 run (8:40 pace--still lugging that medicine ball) During the swim, my foot hit something under the water. Didn't hurt me, but I confusedly called out, "There's something down here!" (No response from anyone. Busy swimming I suppose.) I told my girls that I think there's a crashed spaceship in Town Lake. Pictures: Sharon and I waiting around before our swims, and then me putting on a smile for Bill Dwyer's camera. Bill is a big part of The Woodlands running community. Makes the effort to be supportive at so many events. Thanks, Bill.

IronStar Half Iron, Conroe, Nov. '10: Also did zero swimming to prepare but did go on three medium bike rides and one spin class. Really pulled it together and got serious, didn't I? Time: 6:35:28--47:49 swim, 3:22:49 bike (16.6 mph), 2:16:42 run (10:26 pace--monster medicine ball) Somehow managed to finish okay. That run, though...brutal. Really tough. One might think that since I was a runner, that the run would be my most confident discipline in the triathlon, but no; the run turns out to be the most difficult for me. I can't seem to resist trashing my legs with the bike's higher gears. I could also stand to train a little more. Picture: This picture (snapped by Russell McCoy) cracks me up because I'm so miserable, and my attitude at that moment is to turn around and rip that "Don't Stop Believing" sign in half.

Here's a cut-and-paste from another blog post discussing how I felt about my participation in these three triathlons:

"While setting up my bike and waiting around for each of these three tri's to begin, I felt like an imposter. I kept waiting for the triathlon police to shine a spotlight on me from their helicopter, calling out on their bullhorn, 'Okay, Mrs. Broyles. We know you haven't trained. You can't be here. Please leave immediately.'"

I had managed to fake it through a duathlon, an olympic and a half iron. The imposter knows, though, she can't fake it through an ironman. But my desperate, Hail Mary plan to get myself interested in races and training again had been a total failure so far. So now what?

I need to mention another event which occurred last August, a couple of weeks before the Avia Austin olympic: we moved to Austin. Yes, I left my good friend Sharon, and we would not be training for IMTX together. Not too cool of me, huh? Chad and I met in Austin during our last year at the University of Texas and lived there together till '99. (We also lived in San Diego for seven months during that time. Crazy kids. Another story.) Anyhow, after living in Houston for a few years and then The Woodlands for five years, we pulled the trigger on a dream to move back to Austin. Like I said in Part One, The Woodlands is a great place to live, especially if you have children, but Austin was in our sites, and we fired. Click on "Will I Get It Together in Time for IMTX?" to see evidence of me during our first few months in Austin, finding excuses to not train for the ironman. Pictures: The Warrior Dash in Conroe in March, a 5K that includes various obstacles and has nothing to do with ironman training. Group pic is me, Kerri, JoAnn, Johanne, Pam and Sharon. And then Sharon and I...I'd run through fire for you, Girl!

So bad-training me was on her own in Austin while Sharon joined a tri training group, and then she also had our friends Kelley and Cathy. Kelley has triathlon experience, including two recent half irons (IronStar and Lonestar), and has been swimming and riding with Sharon. Cathy is an accomplished runner who qualified for Boston this past year and has been going on runs with Sharon ever since I've known them--before I knew them! I'm so glad Kelley and Cathy have been there for her. Makes me feel better about skipping town and not training together. But what did I do after IronStar in Nov.? Well, still nothing but running for another couple of months. I needed motivation help, bad. Should I join a tri group? There are plenty of them in Austin. I somehow got my lazy self out of bed one early morning and went to a 5:45 swim with a group called T3. It was a free one-week trial that I had called about and set up. Amazing people working hard in the water at the crack of dawn. I was in awe and really enjoyed it. And then never went back. WTF??? Why, Sarah? What gives? Oh, I don't want to be in an official tri group. Too serious. I don't want to be serious. Or dedicated. Picture: (taken by Russell McCoy) Kelley and Sharon feelin' the love at IronStar. (Yikes, Cathy! I don't have recent pics of you. If you want to see beautiful Cathy, go back to Part One and click on the group photo of girlfriends where I talk about The Woodlands Running Club, or the two pics from the Texas Independence Relay.)

But this was your idea. Why are you doing an ironman if you're so defiant about it? Um, well. At first I was doing it because I thought I wanted to; I thought it would be neat to have that accomplishment. But now...I think I'm only doing it because I said I would.

So no tri group, but I knew at a minimum, I needed to be in a cycling group; I couldn't do all of this riding by myself. Too dangerous. I had gone alone on two bike rides in the 360/Bee Caves/620 area of Austin that I had no business doing, like a skier who can make it down a black diamond but who should really be sticking to the blues. For both of those rides, I got home and was like, "What just happened? Did I really just do that?"

A mom at Parker's taekwondo school told me about the women's cycling group Tough Cookies. Honestly, what drew me to them was that they were cheap--$100 for a year. Gotta keep that cost down for Chad! So I signed up with them this past January. And wow--I'm so, so grateful and lucky that I joined such an awesome, organized group. Katherine, the cycling coach, is absolutely incredible, and Tzatzil, the founder, has created a place for women to thrive in cycling, running and triathlon, and at the same time, have a special bond together.

MS150, Houston to Austin, Apr. 16-17 , '11: Yes, I decided to also do the MS150 with Tough Cookies. Why not? (aside from the fact that it pretty much cancelled out the money I saved from joining a less expensive group) It was five weeks before IMTX, and I was just drawn to doing my bike training like this. No, it's probably not the best way to train for the bike part of an ironman, but hey--nothing else I've done so far for this IM has been correct or acceptable. And doing the MS150 with Tough Cookies turned out to be such an amazing experience.

I could write a whole separate post about the weekend, but I know this has gotten quite lengthy, so I'm going to try to quick summarize:

Weather: beautiful, 175-mile ride. (There's three different starting lines on day 1, and two different routes on day 2, creating various combinations of total distances for the weekend.) I've heard of past years when there's been rain, and I'm just so thankful that we had such nice weather. Made all the difference. Definitely teeth chattering both mornings for the first 20 miles, but then it was sunny and warm the rest of the time. Oh, but it was cold in the tent late that night. I woke up and put on a long sleeve, pants and headband but still shivered in my sleeping bag.

Organization: so amazing. The support team was phenomenal. Thank you so much!

The women: Strong. Inspiring. So grateful to have been a part of them.

Two favorite moments: One--my dad and stepmother live close to La Grange, and they came to bring me some cough suppressant (I've had a cough for at least 10 days, but like an idiot, I didn't see the doctor before the big weekend, nor did I pack medicine. I finally saw the doctor the day after the race and found out what I already knew--I needed medicine! Got Advair, albuterol inhaler and an antibiotic.) Anyway, I hopped in the car with my dad and stepmother, and we ate red velvet cake at a popular Texas bakery called Weikel's. Kept that treat a secret when I got back to the Tough Cookies tent. :) Two--riding through Bastrop State Park. So awesome. Twelve miles or so surrounded by tall trees. Spurts of challenging, steep uphills, but then rewarded with really fun downhills. I felt like I was in a virtual video game.

So now one thing left to do...(cue dramatic music)...IMTX. Stay tuned till after May 21st to see if I made it across that finish line in under 17 hours. Or if I even made it to the starting line!